“Are you destined to ride a wave of light that softly floats periwinkles upon the seashore,
or a wave of light that takes you into unparalleled possibilities
thru unknown destinations of time.”
DAY: bright, crisp, cold, quiet
FEELING: insightful, aware, compassionate, understanding
BODY: gentle aching, sleepy, slow, content
THE COLLECTIVE: There is no need to feel overloaded now. Pace yourself, allow rest time. Be truthful about how you feel and act on it…
INSIGHTS: last night as I lay in bed, I was suddenly watching a movie of my 2013. What an extraordinary year it has been! I don’t think I have ever lived through a year quite like it…It has been a true roller coaster ride. Which is the perfect way to describe it, with so many magnificent highs and lows too. But, Heavenly in so many ways…
There has been love and disappointment, passion and sorrow, comforting and discomfort, illness and wellness, long periods of lethargy for integration, followed by dancing! Some days a need for music and then going into periods of silence, feeling reverence and a desire for solitude. Occasional fear and panic, followed by great hope and expansiveness. Other moments of complete weakness and a need for rest, yet there has been much restlessness.
Motivation came in waves…or a complete lack of it! Living in isolation almost, but often a strong need to be out in the big wide world! Ah, the shifts, changes, ideas, creations!
Ecstatic moments of awareness, seeing ‘otherworldly’ energies, ‘messages’, insights, nudges and alchemical action. Days of intense energies all around me and inside me, downloads, then depletion…Reliving the past and often sensing the future, then back into the past…finally letting go! Over and over and over! Always forgiving, always understanding, embracing all that is new…
The joy in giving and the pleasure of receiving…Ah, expectations and acceptance. Perceptions and reflections, loving and caring…Oft, going into the void. A broken spirit, a well of loneliness…disappointments and yet, so many joyous moments too. My needs versus fierce independence…resolving, releasing, healing. Sharing and caring, teaching and guiding, nudging and holding…Carrying and letting go.
Oh, then laughter and many tears. From intense happiness to deep sadness all over again. At times I have felt so alone. Empty, depleted, bare…then new realisations, learning, leading to inspiration and elation! Full once more…Understanding and acceptance were constant!
And another thing that has been constant is rain. The Great Mother cleared and cleared and wept and wept…as the Great Heart opened wider. Growing and awakening, over and over like the tides…allowing. Then just ‘being’ with a new found knowing-ness. And praying for ALL that we are…holding up the Light, expanding it, lifting and falling, holding, guiding, supporting and finally a need to let go some more…insights, deep healing and the strength.
Loving, always loving and being of that Love, intense love, my melting heart, aching, full, at times painful…And sensual, desiring, feeling…then lifting these same feelings and desires…to richer love and brighter light…metamorphosis?
AND THEN: A need for change, to rearrange, to alter! To begin again? To move, to stay. Yet, preparing for the new, restless, owning, giving, accepting, understanding the need to go in deep…Finally settling.
Am I home? Great losses and great gains…In a new space in every possible way…The ‘spiritual avalanche’ is over…
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.